them. What will they do without me? Will anyone ever be able to love them as much as I do? What can I do to solidify a good future for each of them in the next 30 days? I put an enormous amount of weight on my own shoulders to shape their futures. That is a lot of responsibility for any one person to carry; I thought I would have learned that lesson by now. Finally, after I’m stressed to the point of getting pimples and craving chocolate (which I have none of) I take a deep breath and realize how foolish my worries are. These kids at this home are not mine. They never were. They are precious children, created by God and they are held perfectly in His hand. I was simply allowed to be in their lives for a time. And while they have changed me and taught me, molded me into who I am right now, I cannot take them with me. I do not need to fret about the well-being of these kids. What freedom there is in the realization that we are not always in control.In Matthew 6, Jesus says “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable that they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow? Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?”
I know that these children are more beautiful than any lily and more valuable than any bird. They are made in the image of the Most High God. I need to be taking my faith, what little there seems to be sometimes, off my own head and placing it in the hands of the only One who is deserving.
One of those precious kids is Adjei. While I know that he is bold and brave and I have seen glimpses of that, he often finds security in hiding behind his supposed “shyness”. He is a very handsome 10 year old with a priceless smile who loves football, friends, and big hugs from Miss Lindsay (but only secretly, for he has a reputation to keep).
2 comments:
Thanks for the update! 1 month left-that's crazy!! I love your insights about the worrying-brings me back:) Keep up the good work!
Dear Lindsay,
There is great wisdom in your statement 'What freedom there is in the realization that we are not always in control'.
I find that there is not only freedom but there is comfort and peace in knowing that I am really NEVER the one in charge.
In James 4, I am totally reminded of my 'folly' aka sin as I go about planning my life.....13 Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will travel to such and such a city and spend a year there and do business and make a profit." 14 You don't even know what tomorrow will bring—what your life will be! For you are a bit of smoke that appears for a little while, then vanishes.
15 Instead, you should say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." 15 Instead, you should say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." 16 But as it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. 17 So, for the person who knows to do good and doesn't do it, it is a sin.
The Message version is almost painful to read as I see my grandiose self - 13 -15And now I have a word for you who brashly announce, "Today—at the latest, tomorrow—we're off to such and such a city for the year. We're going to start a business and make a lot of money." You don't know the first thing about tomorrow. You're nothing but a wisp of fog, catching a brief bit of sun before disappearing. Instead, make it a habit to say, "If the Master wills it and we're still alive, we'll do this or that." 16 -17As it is, you are full of your grandiose selves. All such vaunting self-importance is evil. In fact, if you know the right thing to do and don't do it, that, for you, is evil.
Though this is a familiar passage, wouldn't you know this was gently Spirit-slammed into my head at Bible study the other night right after I had confirmed all our fun family vacation plans. Ugh! I don't even know that I am going to be able to enjoy the vacation in light of this Holy Spirit eye-opener. I can't change the plans without losing the payment so I committed to the Lord that this would not happen again, that prayer would precede my future plans. And, the Lord is already honoring that prayer in various ways. I am so much more at peace as He now precedes any purchase or plan I make. This has been so great even regarding grocery purchases....I was buying WAY TOO MUCH food. Didn't even need it!
So, here is the great tie-in to the verse you referenced.....“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them".....ah, how sweet it is to see His hand move as we live and learn.
Have been praying for both sides of your transition - the leave-taking and coming back to the (dare I say it?) decadence of western life.
XO, Laurie
P.S. So glad you are helping Adjei keep his rep ; - )
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